Scott (U.S.) & Joey (China)
Hello from South China!
By way of introduction, my name is Scott and my life partner is "Joey". Joey is a 40-year-old Chinese national and I am a 62-year-old US citizen. We have been in a committed relationship since 1995. For all of this time we have lived in south China where Joey is a university professor of Chinese herbal chemistry and I consult with expats living in various south Asian countries on health insurance and retirement planning.
I came to China on a temporary assignment to teach English in 1992. I was ready to return to the States when I met Joey. We quickly developed deep feelings for each other and soon were sharing an apartment on the university campus. I remember at the time thinking, "How can this be that I had to come half way around the world to a strange land to find the center of my universe in a Communist country...no less!" I asked a fellow American colleague here at the time how do I make this last forever? She answered, "Take it one day at a time..." And, so we have. Joey and I are still together and more in love as each day passes in spite of the difficulties and dissimilarities of language and culture.
It soon became apparent that there were NO meaningful ways under US immigration law for Joey and me to return to the States together. Student visas are difficult to get and temporal. Employment opportunities and the associated visas for his specialized profession are nonexistent. I realized I had no option other than to make China my home if I didn't want to leave Joey. We were certainly not welcome in the USA.
As much as I didn't really want to live in China permanently it was better than living alone without Joey in the States. My two adult sons and sister in the States found it very hard to accept that I would not be returning home but they understood why, supported my decision, and were happy for me.
Someday, I hope that we can live in the States together. Perhaps I shall at least live long enough for this displaced American to see it happen when my home country that so disillusions me now over-comes the homophobia that rages there today.
I hope for a future when the USA really does become the special place I grew up believing it to be - a land of the free, with equal justice for all and a heart big enough to be inclusive of all people. Sadly it is not such a place today.
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